Family Reunion

I went to a family reunion in a small town called Koosharem (it is near Fish Lake and Richfield). My grandmother was the youngest of 11 (I always believed it was 12, until our family was in charge and was I was set straight).

The reunion is always held the last Saturday of June.

There is not much in Koosharem except a school, a Town Hall, a cafe, a little country store and a five room motel. It is a nice place, about a little over three hours from Salt Lake City.

There seems to be fewer and fewer of the extended family members coming each year as the older ones pass on and the younger ones have other things to do...it will be interesting to see how many more years it will go on...

Friendships

“Oh the comfort, the inexpressible comfort of feeling safe with a person, having neither to weigh thoughts nor measure words, but pouring them all right out, just as they are -- chaff and grain together -- certain that a faithful hand will take and sift them, keep what is worth keeping, and with the breath of kindness blow the rest away…” -- Elizabeth Barrett Browning


Friendship, what is its value to us? How do we determine who our friends are and how much of our lives are theirs to share? Who do we confide in? What are we willing share? How does that change as time goes on? How many friends are enough? What makes us separate and move away from each other?

I have been contemplating these questions for some time now...It seems as if there is a cycle to friendships. (see blog: "A Reason, A Season or A Lifetime" 10/07).

I value my friendships. Some have been started through school, through work, through other friends. I have had a few best friends in my lifetime. One of my best friends was when I moved back to Utah in 1979. She lived just west of my grandmother and that is how I met her. We became fast friends and I was her maid of honor when she got married. We drifted apart after that...I can't really say why, I have an idea or two. My other best friend has been recently. But things changed last year, I know exactly when and why it changed, but there wasn't any way to prevent it. I tried talking to her about it and all it did was make her defensive and obviously I was the only one with a problem!

I have learned the hard way that you really can't go back. I have tried to go back and rectify the things that went wrong, or at least what I thought I had done wrong. I have apologized, but some things just can't be fixed...sometimes you just have to let go (see blog: "Let It Go" 10/07) and move on...and if we keep looking back we miss all the blessings and new oportunities that are right in front of us.

Fathers & Daughters

DAUGHTERS by John Mayer

I know a girl.
She puts the color inside of my world.
She's just like a maze,
Where all of the walls all continually change.
I've done all I can
To stand on the steps with my heart in my hand,
But I'm starting to think
Maybe it's got nothing to do with me.

Fathers be good to your daughters;
Daughters will love like you do, yeah.
Girls become lovers who turn into mothers,
So mothers be good to your daughters, too.

Oh, you see that skin;
It's the same she's been standing in
Since the day you two met.
I bet I was on your mind
Never never anytime.

Fathers be good to your daughters;
Daughters will love like you do, yeah.
Girls become lovers who turn into mothers,
So mothers be good to your daughters, too.

Boys you can break,
You find out how much they can take.
Boys will be strong, and boys soldier on,
But boys would be gone without warmth
From a woman's good, good heart

On behalf of every man, looking out for every girl,
You are the god, and the weight of her world.
On behalf of every man whose looking out for every girl,
You are the god, and the weight of her world.

Fathers be good to your daughters,
Daughters will love like you do, yeah.
Girls become lovers who turn into mothers,
So mothers be good to your daughters, too.
So mothers be good to your daughters, too.

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I loved this song from the minute I heard it. I don't think men understand the effect they have on their children, especially their daughters.

If a daughter has a father who treats her and her mother with kindness and respect, that is most likely the type of man she will seek out to be her life partner. If the father is abusive in any manner, verbally, physically or sexually...the daughter can be one of several ways; she can build a wall (usually gains weight to avoid unwanted attention), is depressed and will never trust or let anyone into her life or she becomes promiscuous and searches for love with the wrong types of men. She can become an overachiever, because if she is "perfect", the abuse will go away and sometimes she can be some of all of the above.

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What most daughters (and sons) want is to know that the two most important people in their life are going to be the ones who will protect them, nurture them and make them feel loved no matter what...if you can't do that for your daughters and sons, then do the world a favor and get yourself fixed before you have the opportunity to destroy your children's lives!